Ep. 37 - The Law of Fuck Yes or No

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The Law of Fuck Yes or No

In Episode 37, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss Mark Manson’s blog article titled, Fuck Yes or No. The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. Check out Mar Manson’s blog for the full article and then tune into this week’s episode.

Ep. 36 - Communication Preferences and Compatibility

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Communication Preferences and Compatibility

In Episode 36, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about how communications preferences impact compatibility, including: requiring daily communication, feelings regarding small talk, preferred communication modes (face-to-face, text, phone), needs for intellectually stimulating conversations, sense of humor, passive versus direct communicators, and people who are either “too talkative” or “too quiet.”

How does a partner’s communication style and/or their communication preferences factor into y’alls compatibility? Let us know!

Ep. 35 - A 'Throuple' Joins the Red Table

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A ‘Throuple’ Joins the Red Table

The unconventional path is windy one. Polyamory is a valid relationship style that is more than just having multiple sex partners. Monogamy is a valid option but not the only way to go. You can craft your own non-monogamous relationships and create the life you want, one step at a time. You may get lost, but the journey is more important than the destination.

On episode 35 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil & Coach Kay talk about Red Table Talk’s recent episode on unconventional relationships. Did you get a chance to catch that RTT episode? What did you love or hate about it? Listen in to what we loved about this episode of RTT and what we thought of the conversation.

Watch the Red Table Talk episode: ‘Unconventional Relationships: Can Multiple Partners Work?’ on Facebook Watch.

Ep. 33 - Red Table Talk talks Infidelity with Esther Perel, and we LOVED it.


Esther Perel on Red Table Talk

On episode 33 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil & Coach Kay talk about the latest episode of Red Table Talk with Esther Perel. Watch the episode yourself on Facebook Watch and then listen in to what we loved about this episode and what we thought of the conversation.

Ep. 32 - The Honeymoon Phase or Normal Behavior?

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Honeymoon Phase

In episode 32 of Queen City Poly, Coach Kay and Brian O’Neil discuss a viral tweet from November 2018 that continues to be circulated which states, states, “The honeymoon phase doesn’t exist when you fall for someone who is dedicated to making you feel loved and admired the ENTIRE time you’re theirs. Stop normalizing the loss of affection in relationships, that is a choice, not a phase.” Check out episode 32 of Queen City Poly and listen in as we discuss this problematic pseudo advice for people seeking loving relationships. Find out what we think this quote gets right and what it gets wrong. What do you think? Does the honeymoon phase exist? Do we normalize the loss of affection in relationships?

Ep. 31 - 17 Reasons Why I Want More Polyamorous Representation

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17 Reasons Why I Want More Polyamorous Representation

There are many reasons why we need more (and better) polyamorous representation. In episode 31, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss 17 of them! Do you have any to add? What do you think of the list so far?

Ep. 30 - I Just Don’t Want You to Get Hurt.

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I Just Don’t Want You to Get Hurt.

It’s hard to stay out of the way and watch a person you love navigate the perilous dating scene, making decisions differently than you would. It can be tempting to offer up all kinds of unsolicited advice and encouragement. You may believe you are just trying to protect them with helpful suggestions or suggesting new rules of engagement. In episode 30 of Queen City Poly Coach Kay and Brian O’Neil discuss a scenario where a husband’s input on his wife’s dating life sets a dangerous tone towards codependency and inadvertent couple’s privilege, and how he might approach his feelings a different way.

Ep. 29 - Polyamorous, but not actively dating…

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Polyamorous, but not actively dating…

In episode 29, Coach Kaey and Brian O’Neil discuss how one manages their ethically non-monogamous identities while balancing all of their other goals and struggles of everyday life. When you are not actively dating (and have less than two partners) do you feel less polyamorous? Where does dating rank on your list of priorities?

Ep. 28 - Alzheimer’s and Non-Monogamy

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Alzheimer’s and Non-Monogamy

In episode 28 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey share some news about finger guns in the Charlotte comedy scene as well as Brian’s latest attempt at talking to a pretty lady. Then the duo discuss the recent controversy about B. Smith and Dan Gasby’s marriage. B. Smith and Dan Gasby have been public about their struggles following B’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis in 2013 and have even co-authored a book, titled, ‘Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's’. Dan’s latest declaration of happiness in his new relationship with Alex Lerner is sparking quite a heated debate from those who do not condone any sort of non-monogamous relations, Alzheimer’s or no Alzheimer’s.

Read more about the controversial Twitter and Facebook backlash on Blavity.

Ep. 27 - Middle Ground

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Middle Ground

Is it possible to love more than one person? What roles do jealousy and attraction play in relationships? What makes a relationship work? Jubilee Media brought polyamorous and monogamous people together to discuss their beliefs on love in season two, episode five of their show, Middle Ground. In episode 27 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey talk about their experience watching the episode and discuss the conversations and topics in the video.

Ep. 26 - Incompatible Love

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Incompatible Love

This week on Queen City Poly, Coach Kaey reads some listen perspectives on last week’s episode and then dives into advice for a listener who emailed in about their situation. What happens when the partner you explored non-monogamy with decides it’s not for them and they can’t promise it ever will be?

Ep. 24 - What Was This Episode About?

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What Was This Episode About?

In episode 24, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey ramble with their coffee about sexual orientation, bi and pan erasure, same sex attraction, sexual confidence and compatibility, porn, consent, gender norms, religious education in the south, marriage, children, and how Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey differ about their stance on dogs. We will not promise a coherent episode this time around, we are off on tangents, and we hope you enjoy the ride.

Ep. 22 - Flirting While Poly(am!)

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Flirting While Poly(am!)

There’s plenty of fish in the sea, so they say. Check out episode 22 where we discuss ethical flirting and the importance of communicating our non-monogamy to potential love interests. Listen in as Brian has an epiphany about white fragility while examining his cis-het-male privilege.

Ep. 20 - Boy Bye

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Boy Bye

In episode 20 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey review the romantic comedy Boy Bye, directed by Chris Stokes, written by Marques Houston (screenplay by) and Chris Stokes (story by), and starring Wendy Raquel Robinson, Ross Fleming, Tammy Townsend, Shondrella Avery, and Tracy Davis. Check it out on Netflix before you check out this episode!

Ep. 19 - You're Poly?

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You're Poly?

In this episode, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey answer a listener question on how to handle a polyamorous-identified person that doesn’t seem to want their partner dating others. It’s a common myth that polyamorous people are more enlightened than monogamous people. We dispel those myths while Brian processes his own relationship woes.

Ep. 18 - Who Pays?

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Who Pays?

In episode 18, Coach Kaey and Brian discuss how they have managed money in previous relationships. Polyamorous or not, money and relationships intermingle, but a taboo exists when it comes to talking about it. This week on Queen City Poly, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kaey answer questions like: Who pays for the first date? In a relationship, who buys the condoms? If you buy a woman a drink, what should you expect?

What's that new sound???

We hope you enjoyed our into and outro with music by Charlotte artist, Black Linen feat. Nige Hood. Listen to the entire track, titled New Day, below!